Shankyknitter

A tiny, occasionally homicidal, crafter

destructionandmurder:

Swedish woman finds 2,000-year-old gold ring - The Local

paprikapotts:

barbaricyip:

motherfuckingnazgul:

shireen-baratheon:

#THERE ARE LITERALLY THREE MOVIES AND A HUGE-ASS BOOK EXPLAINING WHY KEEPING IT IS A BAD IDEA

"…it felt like a gift from the underworld," Lundin told The Local. "It was my magnificent ring. I didn’t want to give it up."

O_O

image

Her precious…

(via erikisafail)

Just because I’m asexual doesn’t mean I can’t find people attractive. I mean, someone’s milkshake may bring me to the yard but that doesn’t stop me being lactose intolerant.

Me, finally discovering the best way to explain my sexuality to my friends (via effaced-ace)

This is utterly brilliant. 

(Source: evilkitten42, via erikisafail)

Random confession time:

I’m a 25 year old American woman and have never seen Mean Girls.

Today’s WTF brought to you by: Fetishes I didn’t know existed. 

Today’s WTF brought to you by: Fetishes I didn’t know existed. 

(Source: not-safe-for-earth)

Anonymous asked: Shouldn't Steve be sterile too, really? Otherwise, what's the reason for why there's not an army of US government created Captain America kids running around? You'd think that'd be the next logical step when they realized they couldn't recreate the serum...

beautytruthandstrangeness:

roane72:

zetsubonna:

misspryss:

actualmenacebuckybarnes:

Well, since the serum is an enhancement, it’s unlikely to be passed through genetics (the doctors probably tested this, somehow, haha). Steve’s kids are more likely to inherit his asthma and weak stature. 

OH MY GOD THO

A SINISTER GOVT EXPERIMENT TO CREATE AN ARMY OF TINY CAPTAIN AMERICAS

STEVE FINDS OUT ABOUT IT AT SOME POINT

AND IT’S BASICALLY ELEVEN TOW-HEADED, ASTHMATIC, ALLERGIC, IMMUNO-COMPROMISED LITTLE BEANPOLES WITH BAD ATTITUDES

AGES 8-12

SOCKED AWAY SOMEWHERE

LIKE IN A WAREHOUSE OR WHATEVER

WITH A COUPLE OF OVERWHELMED INTERNS BABYSITTING THEM

BECAUSE THE RESEARCHERS HAD ALL THEIR FUNDING TAKEN AWAY WHEN CAPTAIN AMERICA’S SECRET UBERMENCH CLONES TURNED OUT TO BE A BUNCH OF WEAKLINGS

AND NOBODY KNOWS WHAT TO DO WITH THIS GAGGLE OF KIDS (WHO ARE SHRILL AND UNMANAGEABLE AND WHEEZE A LOT)

EXCEPT MAKE SURE THEY GET ADEQUATE MEDICAL CARE AND REGULAR MEALS

AND REGRET THEIR IN RETROSPECT VERY OBVIOUS ERRORS

AND HOPE STEVE DOESN’T FIND OUT

WHICH OF COURSE HE DOES

BACK AT THE TOWER

EVERYONE’S INHALERS KEEP GETTING MIXED UP

THERE ARE COLORED PENCILS EVERYWHERE

A FISTFIGHT ABOUT THE NATURE OF JUSTICE ENSUES BETWEEN THE 9 YEAR OLD ONE AND ONE OF THE 11 YEAR OLDS

AND BUCKY

IS

ON

CLOUD

9

Oh YES

Bucky is sitting on the couch laughing so hard he’s crying. “Remember that time in second grade when you got sent home from school because you punched one of the fifth graders and your mom—” he has to stop, because he’s wheezing like the kids, like Steve used to “—your mom said, ‘Stevie, when you grow up, I hope you have a bunch of kids just like you.’” He falls over on the couch, holding his belly.

On the one hand, it’s great to see Bucky finally laugh like his old self. On the other hand… “I’m pretty sure this ISN’T WHAT SHE MEANT.” He has to raise his voice over the sudden shouting over who stole whose Bucky Bear. “Now will you get up and help me finish making lunch?”

This makes me SO happy. 

One of the 10 year olds starts begging for a puppy, but having one would set off everyone’s allergies so Steve says no.

Bucky has a habit of watching late night tv after they finally get the Stevelings to bed and sees something interesting on the BBC. And runs to the lab to talk to Tony.

Two weeks later Jarvis is running a replica of K9 for the wee Stevelings. 

D&D Stats Explained with Tomatoes

optimysticals:

twistedviper:

raktajino-hot:

corruptionpoints:

mindchildofmadness submits:

Strength is being able to crush a tomato.

Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.

Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.

Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.

Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.

Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.

(Source)

image

If I stop reblogging this assume I’m dead

Every time I see this I get tears down my face from laughing.

(via erikisafail)

dabhabit:

When I was in the hospital
I was roomed with a schizophrenic
And she was the most gentle person I have ever met
There was a boy with a long deep slit across his neck
Who told very funny jokes
A girl who never spoke a word
Would draw the most beautiful pictures
The boy who shook with anxiety
Could hold the most intelligent conversations
Even the girl who screamed in her sleep and picked at her skin
Had a heart the size of the ocean
We are not who you think we are

I was roomed with a woman who heard voices and spoke no English. I was the same age as her daughter. She sang me lullabies in Spanish because I was crying and couldn’t sleep. 

The man there with anger management issues (7 months in the hospital) was the one who gave my husband all the information on when and how to contact me and see me. He was the one who helped me to the day room when I was in too much pain to walk and the hospital wouldn’t let me have my cane. He also smuggled me extra pillows and a pocket watch so my back wouldn’t hurt as much and I could know when my husband would call. He also showed me how to fill out my meal form. 

The man labeled ‘a danger to himself and others’ after open heart surgery  snuck me a pen when he left, and kept me company and made me laugh while I was waiting for my husband.

Brain gremlins do not make someone a bad person any more than a lack of them makes someone good.

(via callmebliss)

burdenedwithgloriousassbutt:

black-nata:

natasha: [CASUALLY DODGES ALIEN PHOTON BLAST AND CALMLY RESUMES FIRE]
clint: [RESTING FACE WHILE DESTROYING 10 CHITAURI WITH SINGLE ARROW]

clint looks so bored like he’s making his grocery list in his head

<3

burdenedwithgloriousassbutt:

black-nata:

natasha: [CASUALLY DODGES ALIEN PHOTON BLAST AND CALMLY RESUMES FIRE]

clint: [RESTING FACE WHILE DESTROYING 10 CHITAURI WITH SINGLE ARROW]

clint looks so bored like he’s making his grocery list in his head

<3

(Source: shicksome, via erikisafail)